Sunday, June 1, 2014

Remaining calm

It has been a very busy week for Mistress and I.  It's been a rather difficult week for me in some ways.  Mistress has started a new relationship.  She is with a Femdom couple now; in service to the Mistress, and bottoming to the sub male.  This is a wonderful couple whom we have known for some time, though not well.  Mistress and the couple seem very happy, and hopefully everything will continue to work out well.  I'm happy too, although I had some issues this week.

The issues had nothing to do with jealousy, or envy, instead they had to do with how her sudden schedule changes affected my work week.  I won't go into details, other than to say that Mistress was supposed to be home on Tuesday and didn't actually come home until Friday.  We worked it all out as we went along, and I know had I insisted she come home she would have, but I always try to do what I can to give her what she wants.  The problem was that it put a lot of additional stress on me, after all it meant that I had to take care of the home front by myself while also trying to deal with a very hectic, approximately 60 hour, work week.

I'm rather proud of how I dealt with the stress.  even though I was very angry at times, I never acted disrespectfully toward my Mistress.  I have a temper, a rather bad temper at times.  I try, and usually manage to just be with my anger until I have calmed enough to speak calmly and respectfully to Mistress about what is bothering me.  I do feel that this is important in power exchange relationships, that the submissive remembers their place and remains respectful even when upset.  

I could have asked Mistress for permission to speak freely and, had she granted it, yelled and vented at her.  I'm proud however that I did not do that.  I spoke to her about the situation very calmly last night, and she was receptive to what I had to say.  I know that had I still been upset and ranted about the situation that she would not have been nearly as receptive.

It's really difficult sometimes to put ones needs, feelings, desires, etc. below those of the person you serve.  We submissives are human after all, and this is one of the most difficult things to deal with in a power exchange relationship.  You also have to bring these things that bother you up, and discuss them.  If you just allow them to simmer they will at some point boil over and you'll have a melt down.

It all comes back to communication I suppose, and communication works best when it is honest, open, and calm.

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